Rick Warren, the author, has said, “Hurt people hurt people.” This statement is such a simple yet wise saying. It is quite true that those who are hurting will do what’s in their nature—hurt others. It’s like saying a dog barks or a cat purrs. Living beings do what is in their nature, including humans that are not fully functioning.
Do you have someone in your life, a father, mother, brother, sister, spouse, boss, or friend, who is constantly hurting you? Do you have someone who comes to mind that you feel that you are not able to please? They may never touch a hair on your physically body, but emotionally you feel battered and bruised. If someone is coming to mind right now, it is time to please only me…or, please only you.
People don’t do things for you, they do things for themselves. It is in human nature to do what feels good, what makes us happy, and what furthers our lives. If that means helping the homeless, then it benefits others; however, if it means being sarcastic, demeaning, or outright mean, then a person is following what pleases them, not you. Motivation is why people do what they do. And, there is both positive and negative motivation.
It’s time to stop trying to win other’s approvals. If you haven’t pleased someone in your life like a boss, parent or spouse up to this point, the odds are that you will never please them. The reason you will never please them has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them! If they are not emotionally well, they cannot receive you into their lives the way they should. The same is true that if it’s raining outside, the sun cannot shine into your bedroom. It is simply missing. The person in your life who is emotionally hurting you had an absence of kindness or vulnerability…or some ability to let you into their life. Remember, it’s them, not you.
You don’t need their approval to be happy, though. You are at choice as a fully functional person. You are able to make your own decisions and lead your life the way you want. You can choose to not let the person who emotionally hurts you get you down, and you can choose to be happy despite their inability to have a relationship with you. You no longer need to please them; please yourself instead. You will find that you are happier, more at peace, less stressed, and able to treat others better, including having richer relationships with others who are able to care for you. You will see a new and better self emerge, one that can do more, feel more, and love more without trying to win the approval of someone who is not capable to give their approval to you.
I hope today that you will start a new phase of life to “please only me.”
Original content by Iris Slay, iris@growthfortoday.com; www.growthfortoday.com
Iris Slay, Growth for Today 
I just ask my self a simple question about people “What are they bringing to the table (the table being my life). If they are bringing love and happiness, they are welcome around anytime, but if they are bringing misery, and pain, I just cut them off, no matter who they are, and the faster the better.
Many people are all to eager to make excuses for these selfish negative idiots, and give them chances again and again, I personally wouldn’t give them the time of day, because they are emotional bullies, energy vampires and control freaks. There are plenty of great people out there (like me lol) who can fill your life with good vibes and bucket loads of positivity
Great post by the way
By: thomasnwafor on July 3, 2013
at 3:55 am
Thank you, Thomasnwafor, for your comment. Glad you liked the post. I am thrilled to hear that you are not letting others hurt you or push you around emotionally. Congrats! 🙂
By: Growth for Today on July 3, 2013
at 12:40 pm
That’s a great post, and great sentiments, but unfortunately if you have had children with this person you cannot legally, nor for the sake of the children, cut them out of your life. Believe me if I could, I would but what I have had to learn is to have them in my life but minimise the damage to me emotionally. Not an easy task, particularly when they are litigous and have you in and out of court! I have just started blogging and haven’t even gone to this part of my life yet, the personality disordered ex husband!
By: frogstale on July 4, 2013
at 5:53 pm
Thank you for your comment, frogstale. You are correct that you cannot cut certain people from your life, but you can learn/train yourself to minimize the control you let them have over you. How can you minimize the emotional damage your children are having on you currently?
By: Growth for Today on July 5, 2013
at 1:57 pm